For those of you who don’t know me, I can be a little bit of a complainer. I try to keep it to a minimum, but that is not always the case. I did not want to spend my pregnancy complaining, but I am also not a huge fan of being pregnant. There are a ton of changes to your body, as I’m sure most of you know. My body has not been my own since day one.
Since the beginning of my pregnancy, B has had similar symptoms as the ones that I have been having. At first, I thought this was cute. Aww, he has morning sickness too. At the same time, I was a teensy bit…. Irritated… that B was “stealing my thunder.” No big deal, just a teensy bit. As the pregnancy has went on, I found myself getting more and more impatient with B’s symptoms, to the point where I found myself rolling my eyes at every symptom he showed or complained about. I wanted to be the center of attention, and he was stealing my thunder. I didn’t want to be resentful of his thunder stealing, but I couldn’t help it. I was really struggling to find, and keep, my patience with his behavior.
A few weeks ago, B went to see his doctor. He had fired his old doctor and got a new one. The new doctor wanted to meet with him and get him established as a patient. This doctor visit included doing some blood work. A couple of days after the appointment, his doctor called to tell him that some of his labs were off. His estrogen was extremely high, and his testosterone was on the low side. While still within normal range, it was borderline too low. The doctor asked him what was going on in his personal life, and B told her that I was expecting our first child. The doctor was not surprised to hear this, and informed him that my hormone levels have actually affected his hormone levels.
Cue the lightbulb moment. Upon hearing that his hormones were all out of whack, things began falling in to place. It made SO MUCH sense to us that he would be experiencing the same symptoms as me, because both of our hormones were going completely crazy.
I’m not going to lie: after finding out these results from the doctor, I felt like a giant POS. I had spent so much time going over this in my head and being resentful of him that I hadn’t even taken time to consider what would be causing this, and if it was legit. I was so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I had completely disregarding his. I had outwardly rolled my eyes and time that he complained about anything, because I was bound and determined that my entire pregnancy was about ME and MY SYMPTOMS. I did not have room in my mind and in my heart for anyone else’s feelings.
After finding out his hormones were as scattered as mine, I felt horrible for my behavior. Although there is nothing that I can do to fix my previous reactions to his symptoms, it does put me in a better place to be more understanding of future symptoms. Hopefully, after I give birth, both of our hormones will settle down.
Love to all, Tiffanie