Wake Up Call

I have been so horrible about not writing lately. These last few weeks have been so stressful for me, and I am struggling with a *teensy* bit of postpartum depression. The thing about that is that it may be a little bit of regular depression.

Yesterday was a wake up call for me. I went on Monday morning to do a one hour glucose test. They wanted to make sure that the diabetes was strictly gestational. The doctor called me yesterday morning to inform me that I had failed my one hour glucose test, and they want me to come back in for a three hour glucose test.

My heart sank when they told me I failed the glucose test. I had been preparing myself that this was a possibility, but I was not ready to hear this news. I was extremely upset to hear this. Although I did well with my diet while I was pregnant, I have went a little (okay, a LOT) over the top with sugar, pop, and junk food since I had the baby. I have fallen back in to the same old eating patterns. We have been eating out a lot since we had the baby. I have went back to drinking my daily Dr Pepper or Pepsi. Candy bars, cookies, juice, snack cakes and the forbidden fruits have all made it back in to my diet. On top of adding back all the bad foods, my hormones are so out of whack that I feel like I am starving 100% of the time. I can’t eat enough food! As a result of all of this, I have gained back all 15 pounds that I had lost during pregnancy.

After spending the morning struggling with this news, I came to a couple of conclusions. For starters, I decided that I am not going to take the three hour glucose test. I know that the chances of me failing it are pretty high, and I have a pretty good idea of what the doctor will say to me. “Straighten up your diet, and start exercising more.” I spoke with my husband, and together we decided that we are going to get back on track with our diets, cutting all added sugar from the diet completely. We will also be starting a stricter work out regimen. I will also be checking my sugars at home, at least twice per day, once fasting and once after a meal. I have agreed to go back to speak with the doctor if my sugars are not controlled at home with our diet, or if I begin to have problems with my health related to the diabetes.

I decided that I can either let this get the best of me, not follow the rules, and continue to flush my health down the toilet…. OR I can straighten up, start taking better care of myself and completely manage my health without the help of insulin. I do not want to be the person who does not listen to the doctor and continues to spin out of control with my health. I do not want to wake up in five years, 100 pounds heavier, and relying on insulin shots to keep my blood sugar in check.

All in all, this is a huge wake up call to me. I want to be in good health so that I can be involved in baby girl’s life. I want to be more active, and I want her to have an active childhood as well. I want to be able to run after her at the park if I want to. I am excited to be back on my diet, and ready to see how this adventure turns out.

Love to all,